Prevention of Addiction: My Other Child

Happy Sunday my friends! I was overwhelmed by the response and amount of views on last week’s post and I thank you so much for the support! The feedback lead me to believe there was a need to continue the conversation about addiction and psychological disorders. This week I am going to discuss prevention. How we are going to try to prevent another one of my children, Isabella, from a co-occurring disorder (COD).

One of the things I learned while visiting Artie in rehab was a constant craving for sugar may be a precursor for alcoholism. Who knew? But thinking about it, that could be true.

Almost anyone I know with a drug or alcohol problem had a huge sweet tooth, as did Artie. I would always find candy wrappers hidden all over his room, but I figured that he inherited that love of sugar from his Dad. He always craved sweets too. They are also both alcoholics.

After learning of the possible correlations between sugar and alcoholism, my eyes were opened. Bella had that same sweet tooth! I was always finding the wrappers in her drawers and under her bed too. I had a flashback to a night when she was about 4, my husband and I heard her throwing up, and ran in her room to find she was covered in blue vomit.  She had eaten a whole bag of some blue airheads and un-ate it all over her bunk beds and walls.  I went home from the rehab that weekend and started to worry. I needed to establish lines of prevention immediately.

God help me, I can’t go through this with another child.  She was only seven!  Some may call me paranoid, but Isabella has alcoholism and addiction genetics in her blood too.  That does not mean that all kids with a sweet tooth will be alcoholics – it just means that those who love a little too much candy and soda and have a predisposition to alcoholism should be aware!  If you have any questions about these findings, please google it – or read it here!

Background on Isabella

My Isabella is 18, and just finished her first year at college. When she was in elementary school, she had an issue sitting still. Year after year, her teachers complained because she could not sit in her seat.  My child would come home from school, go up in her room and the booms and bangs would begin. I knew she was doing cartwheels, jumping off the bed, etc … I used to call it getting her ‘ya-ya’s’ out.

After learning with Artie, I knew to ask via letter to have her tested for learning disabilities in hopes of getting extra help. She did get some help because she did not do well on her ELA’s, but it wasn’t enough. She had problems taking tests and focussing and I had her tested a few times! All the tests came back in the normal range.

Anybody who has had a kid take any of these tests knows that the ‘normal range‘ is HUGE.  It goes from the 25th percentile to the 75th percentile.  You have more than one test score, whether it be reading or math or functional testing, fall under the 25th percentile to hope to get any help.  Bella was one of those people who just kept falling in the ‘low normal’ range with only one test falling under the ‘Yay, we get help!’ line. The scores were never low enough. I was so grateful for her 3rd-grade teacher who kept pushing for Bella to be tested and retested.

After the third try and not getting anywhere, I took matters into my own hands.  I can’t tell you what I did because I don’t want anyone to get into trouble, but a mom has to do what a mom has to do.  Isabella got a diagnosis of ADHD and approved for a 504 plan, regardless of the testing. A 504 plan puts strategies and extra help in place that are meant to help the child succeed with their disabilities.

Around the same time that she was diagnosed with ADHD, Isabella was developing something called body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRB). In her case, this behavior is a way of managing anxiety that goes along with her ADHD. Both of these disorders are genetic. As she went through puberty, the hyperactive part was getting better, but the repetitive behaviors were escalating. I am only just learning, as I am doing my research to write this blog, that the BFRBs frequently come with ADHD.

Why Prevention is so Important Right Now

Now that I know how alcoholism and addiction can be so prevalent in kids with disorders such as these, it has really opened my eyes. Again, I have another child who is in a high-risk category for developing a tendency toward addiction and developing a co-occurring disorder. God puts me in places for a reason, of that I am convinced. I am telling you honestly that if it weren’t for the presentation of the Harris Project I saw last week, I am not sure that this would be happening. But it did and I have to keep educating myself, so I can empower my daughter.  KNOWLEDGE is POWER and together will help with PREVENTION.

Up until this point, we have been good and even her BFRB had been under control. A few months ago, she had begun to express an interest in taking Adderall because of the difficulty she was having focusing and studying. She figured out during her first semester that she could not study in her room. When she had a test, she would have to go to the library. The second semester when she was bombarded with papers and essays along with taking tests, she started getting more anxious.

After a few conversations and some pleading from her, I told Bella that if she went to a psychologist and took all the tests and this doctor told her that she should take Adderall, then we would talk about it. The first step, she had to talk to her pediatrician. Her doctor gave her the name of a psychologist so she could set up an appointment and take it from there. I also told Bella, when and if Adderall was recommended, it would stay at home. She would only get what she absolutely needed when she had big exams or finals.

Truthfully, she is 18 and does not need my permission. Nor does she even have to tell me what the results were or if the doctor even gives her the meds. That fact just plain stinks, but this is where always having open communication is important. I have never really given her a reason to hide things from me and we don’t keep secrets in our house. Anything and everything can be open for discussion at any time. We can be in the middle of dinner and be talking about getting our periods. The men just have to deal – it’s always been that way.

Lessons Learned For Prevention

She has seen enough problems with drugs in our family to know how scary relying on any substance can be. We have already had a family incident involving Adderall that had an everlasting effect on all involved. I can tell you again, the Harris Project came into my life and shined a light on this for me for a reason. There is no ‘one size fits all’ subscription to life. We have to take what we learn and apply it to our own individual existence.  For us, we will try to take a holistic approach. She is going try Reikii for the anxiety and repetitive behaviors and an essential oil called “in tune” for focussing. I will let you all know how they work. Whatever it takes to prevent her from going down any rabbit holes!

I am not saying that Adderall or another less addicting drug for attention may not be in order for some. But my Isabella has managed all these years without it. I don’t want her to succumb to the pressure because of the college workload.

I would rather her get a B or even a C (don’t tell her I said that) then have to take something to get an A. Again I repeat, part of being empowered is knowledge. To continue the empowering and in making sure my child has the best tools I can possibly give her, we are also going to take the Youth Mental Health First Aid (YMFHA) certification course.

I have learned from research and verified with somebody’s personal experience, that Adderall makes you feel like there is nothing you can’t do.

Like wonder woman or that lady frying up the bacon in the pan. No wonder kids love it – but how will they learn to rely on their own bodies and minds? How will they know when to stop and take a break? Even when Adderall is prescribed by a doctor, there is a lot of trial and error. It is currently the drug of choice for college students and not necessarily prescribed.

Please know that Isabella is not showing me any signs that I have to worry about her forming any addictions, but I would like to keep it that way. It is also important for everyone to know that I write and share these stories with full approval from my kids. They totally support my mission to enlighten, encourage, inspire and educate. It may be me doing the writing, but this really is a family affair.

As I learn, I share with them and with all of you! I encourage anyone to please reach out if they have any questions or need any help. If I can’t help you, I will try to point you in the direction of somebody who can. If you have any questions about co-occurring disorders as I have mentioned in this post and last weeks, please reach out to Stephanie Marquesano at the Harris project. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! #codaconnects #bethelink

(After reading this blog, Bella shared with me that she did try an Adderall that belonged to somebody at school. She felt it helped tremendously with her focus, but made her feel horrible the next day and increased her anxiety. Another example of how open communication is important! I thank God she shared that with me! Also, another reason to please talk to your children about these things. Kids should not be sharing prescriptions and why seeing a doctor to discuss is of the utmost importance).

Thank you so much to everyone who shared my story last week! Because of your help, we had over 700 people read that story and helped bring attention to an amazing cause. It is my hope, that together we impacted lives and helped many to aid in the prevention of addiction, and can bring down the numbers of suicides due to co-occurring disorders.

This weekend, I will also be thinking of our veterans and all of the heroes who have lost their lives in any war or conflict. Battlefields are everywhere these days, but this weekend is about them.