I Believe In The Power Of Prayer

First and foremost, I apologize it’s been so long!  I have had quite a few months.  If you have been a reader, you know I have had some experience with some of the big challenges in life. Well, here I am able to start another chapter with something new.  I have dealt with my child having cancer, lost family members, and good friends to the big C.  But in an unexpected twist in life, it became my turn.  I struggled with deciding if I was ready to share this but I do believe in the power of prayer.  I also know sharing my story will reach somebody who needs to see it – the reason I started this blog in the first place!  

So here it goes … 

I had the pleasure of turning 60 at the end of August.  It started wonderfully with a family vacation with all my kids, grandchildren, and mom under one roof.  It was all I wanted and everyone obliged.  I started an IRA and set a plan for myself to retire at 67.  This lady is wwwaaaayyy behind the 8 ball with that, but I was busy for the last 37 years with a focus on my kids … not thinking about how I would afford to grow old.  

I was pretty proud of myself for reaching these better-late-than-never milestones. In that spirit, I decided to go to the eye doctor.  I figured it was time to get a real pair of glasses instead of buying the cheap readers as I had been for 10-plus years. Lots of adulting going on over here!  

So this eye doctor tells me I have a black spot they call a freckle on my eye and it’s kinda big.  She thought about it and talked out loud, commenting on how she would be more concerned if I had a history of melanomas.  So of course my response was, I do have a history of melanomas. Three days later I went to a retina specialist who told me she wanted me to go see another doctor at Memorial Sloan Kettering.  Oh boy.  

Long story short … 

While waiting weeks to get into Sloan because of some insurance hell I will not discuss in order to stay positive, I broke my hand.  It’s called a boxer’s fracture as I crushed my knuckles into a wall.  

How did I do this, you ask?  

I was twirling my grandson, tripping over my feet, and slammed into a wall.  Nothing glamorous.  In the ER they kept asking me how I did it because apparently they only see this injury when there’s punching involved.  Although there are a few people I would have liked to hit during this insurance hell, I am going to shake that thought off and stay the course of positive vibes only.  

On October 24th, my diagnosis was confirmed – I have a very rare cancer called Choroidal Malignant Melanoma.  Don’t google it, because it can be a scary read, and again POSITIVE THOUGHTS ONLY!  I most certainly took a Xanax that night, but I think it was definitely called for at the moment.  

In a nutshell…

I will have radiation, and more than likely will lose the vision in my right eye because my tumor is laying next to the optic nerve.  It may happen with my first radiation or 5 years from now.  But you know what, I can deal with vision loss!  However, I do need a lot of prayers it doesn’t metastasize to my liver.  This is where it gets tricky!  My first scan came back clear as expected, but the expectation of spread goes up and up for the next 5 years. 

BUT you know what? I won’t despair and at this moment, I am at peace because I know I have a lot of angels working for me with amazing friends and family praying and supporting me.

After another week of insurance hell, I finally get to move forward this week.  (I will tell you that story next week because ultimately, it’s a wonderful angel story.) On Wednesday, I get this cast off my arm (remember earlier when I mentioned that), and Thursday, a short surgery putting radiation markers in my eye. And so begins a journey that will mark the rest of my life and most certainly dictate how I live it – which will be to the fullest!  

While I do my best to bring you on this adventure with me, I do appreciate your keeping me in your prayers.  I do believe!  

Much Love Always, 

Sandy

PS … Its really hard to edit with one hand so it is what it is and I apologize for any bad grammar!