Listening and Learning Through the Sadness

What a week! I am not going to lie, it had some great moments, but the sad outweighed the good. I am not going to be very uplifting, but I am going to share a few things that I learned and do a bit of venting. It has to be done. It has to be repeated over and over to those in the back who can’t seem to hear. Or the people in the front standing at the pulpit who choose not to.

I think there is a lot to be learned by walking a mile in somebody else’s shoes. We need Doc Brown to come up with a vehicle so we can put ourselves in somebody else’s life for a day, or even 8 minutes and 46 seconds, to see how it really feels. Maybe, just maybe, there will be a little more compassion or empathy learned.

Some don’t understand masks or why we should have to wear them. I am guessing it’s because nobody in their family had the damn virus, or even worse, died from it. Others can’t comprehend why people are looting in the name of racial justice or what it is to be black in America. If people would listen a little more to others, maybe they would understand.

What I Learned by Listening

A very dear friend lost her mom to Covid-19. During a recent conversation she made a few comments to me on the different things said that are painful to read or hear. For example, a seemingly innocuous statement like ‘the numbers are getting better.’ They are human lives – not a number. It never occurred to me, but after she said it, I realized, wow – people do keep saying it that way. I didn’t notice, because I haven’t lost anyone. It is only a couple of words left off but so essential and demeaning to the people who suffered one of those losses. To hear your mother is reduced to a number is beyond hurtful.

That same friend said to me that it also hurts when people make comments like, “well, they had an underlying illness.” Does that make their life any less worthy? A person can live a whole full life having diabetes by taking care of themselves and taking medication. Do folks realize this makes it sound like it’s their own fault that they died because they have an underlying illness? You have asthma, so it’s your fault. Or you were unfortunately born with heart disease, so you don’t count as much? Somebody died, and all life lost is tragic. We need to be more respectful and kind and choose our words a little more carefully.

I don’t understand the people that compare numbers in regards to our economy to a person’s life.

How is it that anyone thinks human life is less important than money? Again, I can’t help thinking that the ones who say these things, did not personally experience the latest coronavirus. Maybe, just maybe, if you experienced what it was like for 24 hours on a ventilator with no loved ones around, you would feel differently.

Some are running around blaming China because they lied to us. The president, Xi Jinping, and the government of China didn’t tell us the truth about how bad it was or how many people really died.

There has been a pissing match going on with our leaders and China’s hierarchy for a while – relations are not good! Why would we believe whatever they are telling us? All of our wonderful intelligence, but we don’t know the truth about the devastation of Covid-19 or maybe how it started. So let’s blame the Chinese government for our naïvetée.

Blame who you want, but please stop taking it out on the Asians Americans who live here – that is just ignorance and, yes – racist.

We don’t understand racism unless we live it or experience it.

Why is it that people get away with blatant racist acts until there is a public outcry? It took two months before the arrests of the dirtbags who killed Ahmaud Arbery. I honestly believe it was only because of the outrage from the good people across the country. Just the term citizens arrest, scares me. So any bobblehead in certain parts of the country can chase down people, kill them, and make up a reason why? That is truly frightening.

I couldn’t even watch that video with George Floyd. I cried after about 30 seconds and had to stop. How did Derek Chauvin get the job of being a police officer and still murder someone? Is there not training before everyone becomes a cop on how not to be a murderer or a racist? Both of those stories sound like the perpetrators woke up in the morning looking for a way to justify killing a black person.

I know not all police officers are not corrupt.

Most are just as upset by this as you and I and showed it in solidarity yesterday with the protestors. These incidents make the most noise because it’s coming from the ones who are supposed to uphold the laws. Did you read the number of complaints already filed against some of those officers? How is somebody who has over 17 incidents of impropriety as an officer, still wearing a uniform? The lines of defense protecting the police and their training need to change.

There are racists everywhere and in all walks of life. Many brought up that way, and sadly, they will raise their own kids that way, and this horrible cycle will never end.

In the case of Breonna Taylor (click to sign petition for justice), it has been over two months, and still, nothing was done. Another life is taken for no reason while the ‘investigation’ lingers on. Do you really wonder why people are up in arms right now? What do you suppose would have happened in these cases if the people were not verbally and physically calling for action? I think there is a large carpet somewhere with an enormous amount of dust underneath.

Me, the ever-hopeful person, is feeling like this is hopeless.

I believed for years that this next generation would be the end of racism. Many in my age group heard the verbiage of racism in our homes. It was my hope most of us changed it in our children, and now their children or grandchildren won’t know racism. Sadly, I am not sure if I believe that anymore. My bubble has burst. I am so disappointed in humanity.

If you don’t believe people of color are treated differently in this country, it’s because you choose to put the blinders on. That makes you part of the problem. Saying nothing is like condoning it, so I write about it because I DO NOT.

Listen, my friends, you can’t say it’s not my problem anymore – we all need to be in this together, too!

I don’t like all the looting and destruction, but on some level, I understand the desperate need for somebody to listen. What has to be done for people to be heard? Folks, we are hearing about Mr. George Floyd, but it happens every day across this country under many different circumstances.

I don’t know what it is like to be black, but I can listen, learn, and take a stand for what is right. Only some of us are free. Others have to look over their shoulders, be careful what they say, or what they wear so as not to be persecuted.

You need to walk a mile in somebody else’s shoes to understand what they feel. Since we can’t always do that, maybe we can just listen to their words. We can open our hearts and minds to how it feels to be persecuted or bullied because of skin color or religious denomination. Perhaps, before we speak, we stop to think about what we are saying and imagine if any of your thoughts undermine the genuine and legitimate feelings of the person who may be reading or hearing your words.

 It’s amazing what you can learn just by reading, listening, and observing.  

Be kind, be respectful, be a good human.

I will end it with this song written by Joe South and performed by Otis Clay – listen to the words … It’s only 4 mins, but I didn’t know how to shorten the video – so beautiful and perfect!

Much Love to all,

Sandy

#enlighten #empower #inspire #educate #bekind #spreadlovenothate #bethechange