In Memory of Teri

On September 16th, the world lost a beautiful human being, Teri Beauchamp Kincade.  Teri was a large part of the impetus behind me starting this blog.  She played such a significant role in my new endeavor, that I dedicate my blog to her, along with my son.  She was at one time a leukemia survivor and now passed away from a relapse of the blood cancer … I hate fucking cancer.  She didn’t deserve it … nobody does, but at this moment, I am only speaking of her.

I last saw Teri on a Friday afternoon a few weeks ago.  I went to visit for a bit and ended up staying 4-5 hours.  We never ran out of conversation.  She and I talked about life, politics, our children and our worries.  We even discussed our youth and similarities growing up.  Neither one of us was perfect, and it was a judgment-free zone.

Teri was a thoughtful listener with an open mind.  I could always rely on her to be honest with an opinion, a trait that is so important to me.  In a brief moment of weakness, she teared up and said that if this round of treatment didn’t work, she and the doctor were going to have the “what if” talk.  She was frail, in pain and tired of feeling like shit.  I understood but told her not to give up.  Teri often said, she knew what remission felt like, and she wanted to feel that again.  She had so much to live for.  Then my friend would wipe her tears and move on … Back to the brave, strong woman she was.

Teri told me a few times that she thought there was so much more to our friendship that we needed to explore.  Somebody with whom she felt a kindred spirit.  These are things that came up again in what would be our last conversation.  I was humbled and honored and will carry that with me forever.

While we were visiting,  I kept thinking how I wanted to take a picture with her.  I was worried it would be too inappropriate.  I didn’t want her to think I was taking it because I thought she was going to die.  That wasn’t at all the reason.  It was because when I wrote the story about her a couple months ago,  I was going crazy looking for pics of the two of us and didn’t have any.  Only large group shots.  I wanted one of just her and I.  That picture was never taken, for that I am sorry.

This was a text she had recently sent me:

Teri was encouraging me as she had been since the day I started.  I will be thanking her and channeling her with every word I write because I know she is still reading it.  I am not a child, but I want to make her proud.

Our last text conversation was on Sunday 9/7 as she was watching the Jets game.  She told me she was watching the game and was impressed with the new QB.  She was hopeful for my team.  Teri was a Buffalo Bills fan.  She was the only Buffalo fan I knew!  But then Teri was her own unique human being.  As a woman and a Mom very involved with special needs, she sent me a link to a website that could help me.  That was just five days before she passed.  Always helping others, especially in a field that was so near and dear to her heart.

Rest in Peace, my friend.  There is no more pain, and your soul will live on through your husband, children, and your friends.  I promise to continue to bring awareness to leukemia, and I know we were supposed to write another story together and bring enlightenment to bethematch.org.  I promise to get that done, but I will miss doing it with you.  You had so much to offer and so much to share and helped others until the end.  Heaven just got a great one, and truthfully, I am a little angry about that.

My story I wrote with, about and for my dear friend … God Talks to Us, You Just Have to Listen