Alzheimer’s Awareness: A Guest Post

The following is a guest post from a special lady and friend. My father suffered from Alzheimer’s, but cancer took his life before he was completely taken over by this terrible disease. I did not see him enough to be able to write as my friend did. This is her story: a glimpse into what living with Alzheimer’s is really like …

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What is Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s is an irreversible, progressive brain disease. It destroys one’s memory and other important mental functions. Alzheimer’s ruins thinking skills and the ability to carry out simple tasks. Although treatment can help manage symptoms in some people, currently there is no cure for this devastating disease. 5.8 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, and it is projected that by the year 2050 there will be 14 million Americans living with the disease.

Symptoms of Alzheimer’s

The beginning symptoms can include irritability, confusion, aggression, mood swings and trouble with speech. There is also memory loss that disrupts regular activity, problem-solving, and confusion with time. These are just the most obvious symptoms that I wish I knew about.

Dad

This is a topic that I hardly talk about unless you know me well and I mean really well. I don’t really talk about how life was taking care of my dad who had early onset Alzheimer’s. My dad started showing some of the symptoms listed above around 2007, he was only 59 years old.

We always thought he was getting depressed, due to one of his younger brothers dying of cancer. My mother and I watched him closely and took him to the doctor, only his doctor didn’t think it was depression. A few months later he started saying he didn’t want to drive to work anymore, and then Dad began to call my mom during the day to tell her he didn’t want to work anymore.

Now, if you knew my dad, you would know this was not normal. The man worked two full-time jobs his whole life. It was apparent something was wrong. We realize now that it was the beginning of his Alzheimer disease, but we knew nothing about it at the time. Shortly after that, he suffered a minor stroke. His new neurologist started investigating all the things we were telling him that was going on and he sent us to the city to see an Alzheimer’s specialist. This doctor confirmed my dad had the dreaded disease.

When we were at that doctor in the city is when my mom and I really got to see how my dad had deteriorated in a matter of months. Like I listed above; simple tasks were hard for him. Easy things like buttoning his shirt and tying his shoes proved to be difficult. My dad could not even tell time on a clock. He was a math genius, yet he could not add 2+2. That was an eye-opener and scary as all can be.

Family

My mom and I decided we were taking care of him at home for as long as we could manage it. Unfortunately, my dad had what they call early onset, as he was only 59 years old. I learned the younger you are when you get it, the faster it takes over your brain.

My mom and I did everything for him, dressed him, showered him, helped in the bathroom, and then, later on, it was the diapers and feeding him. As time went on it just got harder and harder. So I talked to my amazing husband, and I stopped working. I stayed home with my then 2-year-old daughter and took care of Dad while my mom worked.

She would come home and relieve me so I could tend to my girls, who at the time were young and needed mom to drive to dance, play dates and to just have fun, without feeling what was going on with grandpa.

I remember so many times getting ready to drive my girls to dance, and dad would fall. I couldn’t leave my mom to deal with him by herself, so I had to disappoint my kids. We explained the disease to our children, and my older one understood, but for my youngest, it was a hard concept to grasp. I think she had to have known on some level because they never complained or cried. My youngest loved to go to the nursing home and dance for the residents. Everyone would smile and get a kick out of her! Alzheimer’s is a mentally consuming disease for the family and caretakers.

Admittedly, there were days that I didn’t want to deal anymore. I am so grateful for my husband – he was amazing! How many men would help their wife shower her dad or change a diaper. I could never ever repay him for how he helped and put up with me and my mood swings during the time with my dad deteriorating from Alzheimer’s. So this is why I say that this disease is mentally challenging for the caretakers. Physically, you just had to figure it out, mentally some times you just lost it.

Heartbreak With Alzheimer’s

It is heartbreaking to see your dad and knowing he has no idea of who you are. It’s that empty stare that just looks at you. So many days I remember sitting there feeding him lunch and hoping he would say my name, but I knew he no longer recognized me, he just didn’t remember who I was.

At times we would get maybe a moment when he recognized one of us for just a minute or two. Those were the good days, or some times the not so good days because he would cry that his daughter was showering him or changing his diaper. Sometimes, I preferred he didn’t know that I was doing those things, because on the days that he did realize things the look in his eyes was so sad.

He enjoyed seeing his princesses, as he called the girls. I don’t know if he recognized them or if it was that they were kids, but that vacant look on his face would disappear. So I am just going to stick with that on some level he recognized them, it makes me feel better to think of those times like that. ALZHEIMER’S DOES NOT JUST AFFECT THE PERSON WITH THE DISEASE, IT AFFECTS EVERYONE INVOLVED. You have the days that physically you were tired, but mentally you would be destroyed. Seeing your dad, or any parent in that state is just horrible.

My Gift is Also The Worst Day Ever

We had to put my dad in a nursing home in February of 2010 due to another long story. My dad was already in the late stages of Alzheimer’s. He had now forgotten how to eat, so they were giving him his food blended. It was gross, my poor dad!

On April 13, 2010, we were told he was not doing very well because he had aspirated his food. It turned out that he had pneumonia. If you ask why it was a gift of sorts, its because that day my dad was there! He recognized all of us and was trying to talk to mom. He had not spoken to anyone in almost a year and a half. Somehow my Dad knew my daughter was going on a school trip the next day and he even tried to say to me no matter what happens, I was to go on the trip.

Why do I feel my gift was also the worst day ever? Because around 9:00 p.m. that night my dad passed away from Alzheimer’s complications. I don’t know if anyone can understand when I say a gift; to me, it felt like a gift to be able to spend time with him when he knew who we were. Even just to talk a few words with him before he left us. I was lucky to have that last day, those last few hours, and I was there with him and my mom when he left us.

When we lose a parent in any way, you always tend to ask “what if?” I honestly don’t know the answer to the “what if’s.” We did the best we could with what was given to us. Do you sit and regret things? Yes. Do you wonder this or that? Yes. But at the end of the day, we all do the best we can.

My Hopes

I really hope that by writing this I help one person out there to recognize the signs of this dreadful disease. I believe sharing my story will bring awareness to some of the signs of Alzheimer’s and difficulties that it brings.

Remember at the beginning of this I said my mom and I knew nothing about Alzheimer’s? I don’t want that to happen to anyone else. Alzheimer’s is not the only horrific disease out there, but this is the one I know. By writing this, I hope that someone out there learns one symptom, one sign that may help your family member. If you think someone in your family may be suffering, please go to alz.org and look up some information that may be helpful to you.

Thank you for letting me share my story with you.

Anonymous

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Just to let everyone know, if you read last week’s post, Abby Dabby Do is feeling great and all her tests were negative! Thank you for your prayers!

Much Love to All – especially my beautiful, strong friend – Thank you for sharing your story!

Sandy

#enlighten #empower #inspire #educate #BeKind