2020: My Perspective and Growth

It’s December 26th, and I haven’t written a blog since Thanksgiving. I have started at least 5 or 6, but it’s been a little noisy in this house, so they sit unfinished, taking up space in my notes. My blogging journey began when my nest was almost empty, and quiet. Since our home has been full again, I have been suffering a bit of writer’s block. But I think I know the cause of this creative slowdown … the noise … JOYFUL NOISE!

My beautiful mess has been getting messier, and I love almost every minute of it. Nothing is perfect in life, so you can’t love every minute. But, I am really good at rolling with the punches. I didn’t put a Christmas tablecloth on the table until Christmas Eve because they were on the couches attempting to keep the dog hair to a minimum.

This sweet little pitbull/lab mix, who recently moved in and licked her way into my heart, is a persistent shedder. I now have three different size vacuums within two rooms attempting to keep it under control. At the bottom of the stairs, is a baby gate to keep her out of the upstair bedrooms. I haven’t needed one of those in years!

The other day, she jumped right over it and ran up to sit outside her mommy and daddy’s bedroom door. So now it’s on the second step – let’s see her clear that one! It makes me feel better to have some semblance of authority, but if she jumps that too, I will laugh and not bat an eyelid. Life has taught me not to sweat the small stuff and was reaffirmed over and over in 2020.

I have to say that I am quite proud of myself for taking this all in stride. My kids will tell you there was a time in their lives when I vacuumed every day to keep dog hair at a minimum, and it drove me crazy to step on a crumb. I am evolving! Letting go of keeping the house clean is not the only area I have grown recently.

2020 … where does one begin?

Life is already difficult enough, but in 2020, the hits just kept coming. We were all trying to live through Covid-19 while a disproportionate amount of political discord and civil unrest permeated our minds and hearts.

I learned more about the infrastructure of our government and how fractured it really is. We were all unexpectedly educated on the meaning of pandemic and how ill-prepared we are in fighting a national crisis. Too many lost their lives to something they had no control over with 1 in 1,000 American having died as I write this. A staggering statistic, but ten months later, there is hope and an end in sight. 

I believe we all learned who the real heroes are in the world: the medical professionals, teachers, and all the workers now recognized as essential. And I can’t forget the unsung heroes behind the scenes who donated money, time, and resources to help others less fortunate. I read so many beautiful stories of neighbors checking on neighbors, and fundraisers started to feed exhausted hospital workers and families in need. Most importantly, the humans who lost their lives, alone, after fighting a battle they didn’t understand – true warriors! 

My eyes were opened to a different area of life that I thought I understood, but learned I did not. I grew more of a conscious and obtained a more in-depth understanding of other cultures while learning more about racism and our country’s real history. I hope and pray that moving forward, there will be more open discussions, education, and acknowledgment to move forward to a more loving and accepting society. Human beings are our most essential resource, and we need to treat them as such. 

2020 offered us time to get in touch with ourselves and see where our personal life needs improvement.

In the spring, I struggled, having had a few meltdowns, and then I settled into the quiet and all the alone time. I learned to be more resilient and practice different methods of mindfulness to live with myself. There was no escaping the thoughts in my head without the constant noise and busyness of life. Patience became more than a virtue, as it was necessary for sanity. I learned introspection with all the time I had on my hands.  

I learned to slow it down by not having plans weeks ahead; instead, I looked forward to the warmer weather, when I could get together with friends outside, six feet apart with masks. When those days finally arrived, you appreciated those couple of hours, and they carried you through until the next time. There weren’t birthday parties, and you were honored when people drove by your house and honked their horns. Small moments and gestures became momentous and greatly appreciated.

I sat and watched a few series on television so many people have been talking about. Schitt’s Creek gave me some of the laughs I needed, and I fell in love with each character’s flaws and quirks.  If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor, and go watch it!

I learned I was not too fond of Zoom schooling. Despite that, I developed an even more profound respect for teachers and technology. How lucky we are Zoom even exists! If this were 10-15 years ago, what would have happened?  

I focused on being in the moments and deepening my relationships with the people closest to me.  

The last few weeks, I woke up every Saturday intending to write a blog, but when my daughter, Roberta, gets up with me, makes a cup of coffee, and wants to chat – I am going to have that conversation. She is only here for another month, and I will take full advantage of these mornings while I can. I am choosing to be in the moments with the people I love, because that’s what is most important.  

I know so many people can’t wait for this year to be over and curse 2020, and I don’t blame them. But every year, I like to reflect on the life lessons I learned, and this year was no different. 

I did my best to face 2020 and hopefully learned what needed to change for me. Life throws us curveballs, but what can we do about it? We can drown, or we can swim. I am an optimist and have been practicing positivity for years now; otherwise, I would not be able to stay afloat.

It was a quieter than usual Christmas over here with only the people who live in this house, but we made the best of it playing games and staying in our Christmas PJ’s all day. While I missed the extended family and most especially my grandkids, my children will tell you that their favorite holidays are the ones we spent staying home all day playing those games under the tree. It had only happened two times before: when Joe had cancer and during a Christmas blizzard. And now, for the third time, during a pandemic.

It may not have been as boisterous as most years, but we made our own noise, with the joyful sound of laughter, dancing, cooking, and banter. While I look forward to 2021, I will take all that I have learned this past year with me. I will take advantage of the quiet times, rejoice in the noisy times, and hopefully, continue to evolve with whatever the new year brings.

I hope and pray for continued growth, to broaden my horizon, and keep my eyes and heart open.

Much Love, and praying for a safer, more compassionate world in 2021,

Sandy