Car Story Bloopers & The Kids
As a Mom of 5, I am sure you can imagine that I have A LOT of fun anecdotes on parenting. A few of them are car stories. I think it’s crazy that 16-year-old kids can be entrusted to handle such a powerful machine. In our house, I was not the parent who taught my kids how to drive.
It scared the hell out of me to be the passenger in the front seat when they drove. I gladly signed them up for driver’s ed, otherwise, my husband taught them. One time, I made it all the way down the block with my Isabella driving before I made her pull over and took the wheel – I just couldn’t do it. I had plans to live another 40-50 years. Interestingly enough, the first story doesn’t even involve a kid driving.
I suppose I should have seen the writing on the wall or in this case, the car …
When Roberta was in Kindergarten, I had a minivan. It was always parked in the driveway in front of our house. In this neighborhood, all the kids were always outside playing – just like we did in the olden days. Well, this particular day, Roberta was with her siblings and friends playing in front of the house when they came to the door telling me to come outside. When what to my wondering eyes did I see, but Roberta had written the whole alphabet in capital letters, and her numbers 1-9 alllllll the way around the van.
Yup – around 6 inches high and beautifully carved with a rock. From the passenger side front tire and wrapped it around to the driver side front tire. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. What was I supposed to do with that? Her penmanship was pretty damn good for a 5-year-old, so I guess I was proud of her. I never did like that car. As soon as it was fixed, I got rid of it.
Our Favorite Car Stealing Story …
I don’t know about you, but I used to “borrow” my mother’s car regularly … I did happen to mention that in another blog. Admittedly, I was not a good teenager. We lived in an apartment building, so it was easy to take the car with my mom unaware. I was so bad, I didn’t think my kids could do that to me or get away with it. My husband was a bit of a juvenile himself, so we should have been pretty savvy.
One night Freddy and I were out, with Christine home babysitting. She had a couple of friends over, one of which was another ‘daughter’ affectionately known as Drea. Drea somehow talked Christine into letting her borrow the car to go get pizza. She told Christine she would be back in 10 minutes and all would be fine. I have no doubt she said, “Trust me, Christine” a few times. Eventually, she caved, Drea took the car and off to the pizza place she went. Well, after seeing another mom in front of the restaurant, she decided to skip that idea and go elsewhere.
Christine was panicking when Drea got back 40 minutes later with McDonald’s.
Christine was smart enough to know that we would smell McDonald’s in the car. Their answer to that was to take a crappy banana body spray and cover the odor of french fries with a new greasy banana smell. They thought that lovely stench would be better?!
Well, the next morning, when Freddy drove the car to work, he called me saying that somebody took the car. Not only did it smell, but the seat was not where he would normally have it. I didn’t really believe him at first … Christine would never do such a thing! She was the golden one.
I called Christine at work and when I couldn’t get her, I called Drea, who made up a convoluted story about a perfume war. Christine, who is not a good liar when confronted, returned my call and spilled the beans. Not only did she let her friend drive our car, but nobody even had a license. Oh yes, she was grounded and had to eat her ticket for the Z100 concert that night.
On an aside, I learned this week it wasn’t the first time they took the car without asking, but it was the last. Because after that, they all got their licenses and were allowed to drive. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree when it came to “borrowing” the car stories.
How Not to Pull The Car Out of The Garage Story
This one is short and sweet. One day, we had to take Roberta to dance. I remember it being a nice quiet morning and we were sitting at the table drinking coffee. Roberta had her permit and we told her she could pull the car out of the garage while waiting for one of us to drive her. The garage door went up and then all we heard was crunch, cacrunch, crunch …. that couldn’t be good. Freddy jumped up screaming,
“Stop – don’t move!!” while banging on the window.
She couldn’t hear him, and in a panic, pulled back in the same way … crunching all the way back in. That was one of the few times, I saw my husband lose his shit. The whole side of the car was carved in. Front bumper to back bumper, with the mirror hanging by a wire.
I had to suck it up and tell the insurance company that I was driving the car, and like a fool, wasn’t paying attention when I backed out of the garage. It was that, or pay the few thousand dollars in damage.
I am pretty sure Roberta never pulled in or out of the garage again. Never. Ever. It traumatized her for life. Now that I think about it, I don’t think any of the kids ever have.
Is That My Car In the Neighbors Yard Story
Picture this: Three kids hanging out, watching TV when they suddenly hear a woman screaming. They jump up to look out the window and see a neighbor running down the street yelling,
“Roberta! Roberta!”
When nonchalantly, one of those kids questions,
“Why is she calling my name?”
That lady was my neighbor and she is screaming for my daughter.
The kids got up, went outside to see what was going on and I am sure gave a collective, WHAT THE FUCK when they saw that neighbor trying to get through the trees to Roberta’s car in the neighbor’s backyard.
That poor woman was scared out of her mind, having seen the car roll backward down our driveway and sail through the woods landing in that backyard, all the while thinking that Roberta was still in the car. The fact that she could have had a heart attack, and was trying to rip through the brush to help her, probably wasn’t funny at the time. But in hindsight, and with the bizarre nature of it all – it’s hysterical. My kids were safely inside oblivious to it all.
Somebody called 911, the firetrucks came and the volunteers got a good laugh knowing Roberta and Christine. A flatbed had to come, hook a chain up to the car, and pull it out of the woods. The car, a manual transmission Toyota Corolla with well over 100k miles on it, only needed two new tires, some duct tape, and continued driving for a couple more years. * I highly recommend Toyota’s – you can’t kill those cars!*
Conclusion: She may or may not have pulled the brake up while the car was in neutral causing it to roll … that is anybody’s guess.
I was busy managing my Isabella’s softball practice at the time, so I missed the whole stressful situation. They did call me, but not understanding what the hell they were saying, I just told Freddy to go home and see what the fuss was all about. Thankfully, by the time I got home, the car was already on the flatbed.
A couple of hours later, this happened ….
My girls shaved their heads at a Relay for Life event. It would be the first of several times they did this for cancer. It’s like these crazy things took place all the time, but we bounced right back.
Just another day in the life …
I DO have a few more car stories … maybe involving an arrest, impounds, and lawsuits, but because of the legalities, I have to refrain from telling them.
Do you have any funny parenting car stories you would like to share? I would love to hear them.
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Much love and I hope I made you chuckle today!
Sandy
#enlighten #empower #inspire #educate #BeKind and #laugh because life is too short.
