Trust: A Story by Lynn Brasier

My youngest child is eight years old, and admittedly I do give her the most attention out of all the kids. Mostly because all of the other kids are 15-25 and very rarely have any interest in cuddle time or hugs or a real one on one time, she is truly my mini-me in so many ways. I listen to Christian music 90% of the time, and she loves it. She sings along to the songs, and we even have a favorite song that we call ours. I love this child with all my heart and soul just as I do her siblings, and at one point in all of their lives, I shared a similar bond with all of them.

Being Honest About Myself

I’ve made mistakes. Far too many to count. I haven’t always been the best parent I could’ve or should’ve been. I’ve let these amazing little (and not so little) people down on so many occasions in the past. I’m trying so hard not ever to do that again. One thing that I’ve ALWAYS strived for with my kids is honesty and trust. I’m a recovering addict, so I’m not going to lie and say I was always 100% forthcoming with them, but I always tried my best to teach them that there is never a reason to lie to me.

I have always done my best to make sure they all knew that I am the one person on the planet that they can tell anything to and that I’ll have their back. I let down my oldest in the worst way 12 years ago, and I swore that would never happen again and that I would spend the rest of my life making up for that. I’m no saint, and I still struggled with my addiction for many years.

I wrestled with my demons for almost 30 years off and on before finally making it out of the fire. I don’t lie to my kids, or my husband, or my family, or anyone. I’m an open book. There is no judgment here. We’ve all made mistakes, poor choices, bad decisions, etc., etc. We’re human. It’s what we do. The key is what you do AFTER you’ve messed up. Do you lie about it and try to hide it or blame someone else? Or do you own it, be accountable for your actions, your behavior, your choices, your words? Do you make amends? Do you change your behavior or continue doing the same things? DO YOU OWN IT??

Lessons in Honesty & Trust

When you are honest with others, and you own your actions, words, behaviors, choices, decisions, etc. and you’re willing to take responsibility and sincerely apologize and then find a way to make it right that says so much about who you are as a person. It speaks to your character and your morals and strengths. It lets others know that you’re someone that can be trusted and believed and that you are a person that truly cares about other people.

Lying, blaming, manipulating, denying, being defensive, etc.… This speaks volumes about your character as well. But it says something wholly different about you and what kind of person you are.

I want my kids to be that first person. I also want them to know that I am that person. That they can tell me ANYTHING. My second child came to me at the age of 9 and told me he thought he might be gay. He came to me because he trusted me. My oldest child, came to be before she decided to have sex for the first time. I ’ve always been open about everything with my kids. And I want them to feel safe being open with me.

Tonight my youngest lied to me. I knew she was lying. This ain’t my first rodeo, and she’s a horrible liar. I didn’t lose my cool, but we did have a long talk about honesty and how important it is and why. I hope and pray that what I said sank in. I am trying to instill as much good into these kids as I possibly can before they decide to leave the nest and join the world on their own. I want them to have excellent decision-making skills and a strong moral belief system, and I want them to have self-respect so that they’ll be able to show others respect and I want them to have compassion so that they can be part of making the world a better place.

I can’t give them the world. Instead, I must give them to the world. What I can do though is make sure they know they can always come home and always tell me ANYTHING. And I will still have their back. There is NOTHING they can do that will ever make me love them any less. They need to have a place that’s safe, a place to go when the world is too much. My children need to know that they are MY world. And that they can trust that I will be there to go to battle to protect what is mine. My love is bigger than all of this. My arms will always be open, and they can ALWAYS come home. Lynn

**********************************************************************

Thank you so much to my friend, Lynn for being my guest blogger today. I am so proud of her as she approaches her 3 year anniversary of recovery. She has an amazing story with a dream of writing her life story, like myself. She is an inspiration to all who want to give up in their struggles of life and addiction. By the grace of God, she is finding her way. Please show her some love and visit her on her blog at Out Of The Fire.

I hope everyone has& a beautiful Sunday – Please remember always to be kind because you never know what somebody has been through in their life or what is going on behind somebody’s closed doors.

If you want to hear Lynn and her daughter’s favorite christian song … it’s Since Grace Got You.

Much Love Always,

Sandy

#enlighten #empower #inspire #educate #BeKind