Dream Believer: Messages From Heaven

Tuesday, July 23

I woke up at 6:30 am from an amazing dream. It was beautiful and I was grateful, but still, I cried. I had dreamt of my friend, Teri who passed away last September. This isn’t the first time I have heard from her. A few weeks after Leukemia took her life, a butterfly was following Freddy and I around on a golf course, and I knew that was her. You may think I am crazy, but it was flying right at me like it was being playful. I kept saying … I know that’s you, Teri, smiling as my eyes filled up with tears – she was letting me know she was ok. Golf was a good part of our history.

There have been other random times when I knew Teri was telling me something, and I would talk back to her saying … I hear you, I hear you. It’s like I can actually hear her voice. We often talked about having a spiritual connection and knew God spoke to us through each other. That was our gift. It’s too bad we didn’t realize it until the last couple years of her life. God, how I miss her, but thankfully, our spiritual connection continues.

So in my dream …

I was in an abstract place and see Teri ahead of me with her dog, Judy. I was thrilled to see her! In my mind, I knew she passed away but was anxious to grab her and say hello. As I tried to reach her, a huge crowd came between us and it became impossible. It was ok because I knew I would catch up to her on a road she frequently ran with Judy. I figured by the time she got there, the crowd would be gone.

I was so excited for Teri to see me and couldn’t wait to surprise her. But just when I was about to catch up, the dream changed. Now, I was in a large, beautifully decorated banquet room where everyone was dressed up, including Teri, who was wearing a very light-colored suit with a skirt. She was standing there and a young woman approached her with a baby and handed it to her. Everyone was fighting to see Teri holding the baby because we all knew this was a miracle. Somebody next to me turned and said, “I knew it was an L and it wouldn’t be an S.” It makes no sense, but I knew that meant it was a boy. That was the end and I woke up crying. Teri was showing me that she was a grandma and that she held her grandbaby.

I cried, giving my congratulations and talking to her while I laid in bed. I tried to go back to sleep because the dream ended before I got to talk to her, but it didn’t happen.

Instead …

I went over it again and again in my mind, not wanting to forget a single detail about this cherished dream.

I did know she was going to be a grandma. She told me very soon after she found out. She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, but she had to tell somebody, and I was honored. My friend said it gave her a new will to fight because she was admittedly giving up.

Teri died about a month later and truthfully, I had completely forgotten her son and daughter-in-law were having a baby! I felt so bad and knew I would call her husband first thing.

My Crazy Day

I laid there not wanting to get out of bed, but then I heard my grandchildren downstairs. Christine was dropping them off for the day while she went to work. She asked me a question about getting Bella from the airport and I noticed I there was a text from her, but couldn’t read it because I didn’t have my glasses. She took my phone and read-aloud how Bella had missed her plane. Apparently, her uber driver went to the wrong airport, and by the time she realized and drove to the right one, she had missed the flight. She was no longer coming home at 1 pm but now would get in at 8 pm. She was sorry and would pay back the money for the new ticket she bought … $950. Christine thought it was funny, I did not … I was emotionally exhausted.

(This, of course, comes the day after she told me her license was with her phone that was stolen five weeks before and never told anyone and that somebody stole a backpack full of her clothes off a bus in Croatia. I didn’t know whether I would hug her or smack her when she got off the plane.)

I told Christine about my dream; our emotions palpable. It’s not the first meaningful dream of mine she has heard about. A minute later, that was all interrupted by kids, “Grandma … grandma … grandma!” And then Abby throwing herself on the floor in a fit because Gavin had something that she declared hers. Christine ran out the door and I told myself, I wasn’t going to let that bother me because at least I get to spend the day with them. Teri would never be able to spend the day with her grandbaby. Again, I told Teri, I hear you, I hear you.

Within ten minutes, we had made these teeny little planter things they brought and then fought over. That’s mine … I want to sit in that chair … you can’t have them both, that one is mine, etc. etc. While sharing the seat they were also fighting over; we put the dirt in, then the seeds and topped it with soil and watered. Within 30 seconds, Abby moved her elbow and knocked one over, and the wet, muddy dirt was all over the furniture and the rug. Kind of like that little glass of water that somehow seems like a gallon when you spill it?

I yelled … I may have even cursed. It’s only 8:10 am. This is not a good start to the day. The day continued along the same path, I struggled and kept talking to Teri, I will try not to lose my cool, I know how lucky I am. When the constant whining was going on in the car because Abby took her sneaker off and couldn’t get it back on, I continued talking myself down off the ledge. When I cleaned the giant plops of yogurt off the couch, I was angry but collected myself quickly. They were just being two and almost four. Yet, I struggled all day knowing this.

My Attempt with Self-Care

When I put Abby down for a nap, I decided I would get on the treadmill, take a shower, make a cup of coffee, and start the day over. Gavin suddenly had a million questions for me. When are we getting Aunt Bella? Can you get me the darts? How do I turn the computer on? What’s this button? I pooped, can you get me a wipe? I can’t get it all out, can you help me? On and off, on and off, the treadmill I went. Something is better than nothing though … right, Teri?

So I got in the shower, Abby got up, and I announced we had to leave at 3:30 to get Joe from camp as I had to be back at 4 for a meeting with a social worker. At 3:25, Abby poops … and I mean poops … I only had two wipes left so I had to improvise and told Gavin to bring me napkins. By the time, we get in the car its 3:40. I text the social worker; I will be late and leave the house. Abby is taking her shoes off, and Gavin is blowing a whistle. “ No blowing the whistle in the car!”

We get to camp, Joe gets in, and we are on our way home, and it’s been quiet for about five minutes when Abby starts complaining she can’t get her shoes back on again and Gavin gets hysterical crying that his pinky is stuck. I am like, what do you mean stuck? How could it be stuck? What are you doing? Is it stuck in the whistle? He is crying, repeating “it’s stuck; it’s stuck!”

I am on the highway and telling him I can’t pull over yet, but he keeps screaming. As soon as I pull off on an access road, I park the car, take off my seatbelt and turn around to see what I am pulling his pinky out of, and he immediately stops crying, looks at me and says very matter-of-factly, “I got it out, Grandma.” I stay calm and kinda laugh at the absurdity.

I get home, and everyone is waiting. Christine is there to get the kids, and the social workers are out front. Ok – the day is almost over. Christine comes in for a minute to gather their belongings and tells the kids to say goodbye to me. I am sitting at the table starting our meeting, and Abby comes up to me for a hug and a kiss and says, “here, Grandma” and hands me a book, I’ll Always Love You.

I turned my head with tears and a smile, looked at Christine and said, “do you know where I got this book from?” She said no, she had never seen it. I told her Teri gave it to me when Rocky died. (Rocky, our dog passed away five years earlier). She was with me all day. God, how I miss her – and then she sent me that message.

I know this may seem like a sad story and it kind of is, but it reminds me that people may pass on, but are still with us. I am so grateful to know Teri is still around and look forward to the next time she visits. This isn’t my first dream of a loved one and it won’t be my last. I look forward to these moments so I can tell them how much I love them. It makes me feel better to know they are by our sides and always will be … like God … I know and believe in my heart, that their love is forever.

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I did talk to Teri’s husband that evening. They are the grandparents of a beautiful baby boy, Christopher Teri Kincade and I know that Teri has held him.

Have any of you had dreams like this? I would love to hear about them! I have quite a few more I will tell you about one day. 🙂

Much love to you and yours,

Sandy

#enlighten #empower #inspire #educate #believe