I’ve been losing my mind again. I feel like I did at the beginning of quarantine; I am up, I am down, lashing out, and kinda going out of my mind. Life seems settled, and we are in a happy place, so what could be the reason? Why am I having nightmares?
It’s 8:15 am on Saturday morning … I am not a morning person. I had to set the alarm for 7:35 because Joe had to be on a trip by 8 am. Yeah, I don’t do early mornings, and he got there at 8:05. This girl is always 5 minutes late. My diagnosis: I suffer from procrastination with a little bit of Adult ADHD.
Oh boy … the reality and the numbers with this Coronavirus become more alarming every day. I am posting on all different days lately because they all seem the same when you have been home for days on end.
Maybe it was him or perhaps it was me … I don’t know, but even not feeling anything, I kept doing it anyway. It was something I felt I had to do to keep him.
I’m sitting in the diner having lunch with my son just trying not to cry. Maybe I have had my head up my ass all these years. Did I overestimate what I thought my son would be able to do? Do I need a reality check?
My daughters tell me I can be naive because I am admittedly surprised by these stories of blatant racism. How could this still be going on in this day and age? But here we are – I guess I am naive, but I am learning. I wasn’t taught about racism growing up. I don’t know how much it was talked about in anyone’s home in my generation – it wasn’t in mine. So it hits me, I am going to tell my story of the day I learned that racism existed….